My mom did not sew or knit or or even cook very well when I was a kid, so I didn't learn any of those traditionally female activities (although I really wish I'd learned to sew). She did teach me how to clean house and do the laundry, both of which I was grateful for when I got older, but they just weren't mother-daughter bonding activities.
Until I hit eight or nine, we really didn't do much in a parent-child sort of way other than the usual go on vacation, go shopping (which neither of us enjoyed), go to Disneyland as a family, etc. But nothing just us.
Then she decided I was old enough to learn to play cards. Perhaps my father had grown tired of being beaten by her because I didn't see her playing with him. Her game of choice was gin rummy.
When she was teaching me, she took her time and showed me which cards to play and why and how to play competitively. Then, once I had the basics down, her killer instincts kicked in and it was no longer Ms. Nice Mom. If I hadn't already learned not to cry when I lost a game, I'd have learned it quickly then.
She beat me — at cards — six ways from Sunday on a regular basis. No playing nice or letting me win. I had to learn and catch up on my own. And I did. Oh, I didn't achieve her ability to completely annihilate the other player: I don't think I have that killer instinct. But I started winning more often. Not as often as she did, but more than before. And I could see my progress, so I figured eventually I might get as good as her.
There was nothing she loved so much as slamming down her last card and shouting "Gin!" at the top of her lungs. Then she cackled her evil laugh. For such a sweet-looking, mild-mannered lady, she could be as evil as they come.
A couple of years later, my little brother wanted to learn. He was only six, but he was a competitor and if I could do it, he wanted to do it. So my mom taught him and I got to watch. She went through the same stages with him as she did with me. When he'd mastered the basics, she proceeded to trounce him at the game. He wouldn't cry but his face would go red and he'd demand another game. He couldn't stand to lose. He was definitely going to be a better adversary for my mom than I was. He and I took to playing when it was just us around the house and yes, he was able to beat me often enough.
But sometimes, one of us would win against Mom. And there was nothing as satisfying as being able to slam down that last card and shout "Gin!" And if the other of us was there to watch, well, the added "All right!" and thumbs up was frosting on the cupcake. Besides, neither of us could manage Mom's evil cackle; just winning against her was enough.
I don't play cards much anymore, due to a lack of other players. But I don't see a deck of playing cards without imagining my mother shouting "Gin!" And cackling like a demented chicken.
Did you have any special activities you did with a parent when you were a kid?
My dad taught me to play cards in virtually the same way. He was a brilliant card strategist. I'm not as good as him but I'm better than most other people.
ReplyDeleteWe weren't that good, but my mom had years of playing poker and canasta and gin and hearts behind her. Eventually hearts became the family game, and there's even a story behind that one I might tell. Glad you have that memory of him.
DeleteOoh I've got to go back and read the other posts.
ReplyDeleteI HATED games. And my parents weren't particular card players, so I escaped that special hell. ;-) When my dad got into writing, that gave us something to bond over in my teens. And in my later teens it was the weird church we went to.
With my mum I guess it was just reading, and British TV shows, etc. She guided my taste a lot, introduced me to various movies and authors and singers.
With stepmommy, no particular activity. Just sitting for half an hour or an hour each night, or after school, just talking. Even now we often end up sitting alone at the dinner table after we've eaten, chatting about nothing. Funny how the old habits just creep back. :-)
Loved reading this. Will be back for more!
We played various games as a family. I didn't have any particular activities with my dad; my brother had sports and outdoor work with him. Mostly it was whole family stuff if it was anything. I had the most one-on-one activities with my little brother: playing with cars, having tea parties, stuff like that.
DeleteGlad you enjoyed this.
You just brought back vivid memories of playing both gin and double solitaire with Mom. Winning at double solitaire required great speed and accuracy and a victory roll on the floor. Thanks for making me smile!
ReplyDeleteOh god, double solitaire! We played that too and it was always hilarious because of the speed and the need to win! Sometimes we'd get laughing so hard it was almost impossible to finish the game.
DeleteGlad this brought back memories and made you smile!