The Persistence of Blueness

The blue ain't gone. I used extra-strength color remover and went the maximum amount of time. I should have known. I still have about 50% of the blue I had yesterday.

I've texted my supervisor to let her know so she won't be surprised.

My only hope to look conservative and all that is to fold the blue bits back under the more normal-colored hair. I'll let you know how that works out.

Guess whimsy and creativity don't want to let go of me.

Feeling Blue

I'm feeling blue because I can't be blue. How does that make sense? Simple: I have to remove the blue streak in my hair for my job.

I always swore I wouldn't compromise myself for my job — my hair, my nails, my clothes (other than having to wear the level of professionalism required). But I've never been in a position where it was so hard to find work. It's harder to stand against such compromises when you are staring down the face of unemployment or continued severe underemployment.

No, they (my supervisors) didn't threaten to let me go. They just said, "we're giving you ownership of this job and you can't have the fun colors in your hair because the client is an oil and gas company and they are very conservative." Straightforward and to the point. And a bummer because I just got this particular streak put in my hair. 

Who Am I?

I was chatting with my BFF recently about the whole damned mental health issue:

Me:  Why does getting better mentally, at least for some of us, have to be like learning to walk again after getting a leg shot off, or getting a spinal injury? Why can't it be like getting over the flu? Relearning to think differently is a long, difficult, sucky, unpleasant prospect (and probably just as bad to do).

BFF:  Because it is much like learning to walk, or walk right.  For some of us, it's not "again".  This crap has been normal for far too long.

This crap has been normal for far too long. 

Normal. 

Normal for me is not the same as normal for someone else, for the most part. Sure, normal for us all is that the sun rises and sets every day and the earth revolves around the sun and we need certain combinations of gases to breath and nutrients to stay alive and etc. But normal for me also has come to include struggles with depression, anxiety, and pain; solitude and loneliness; and medications. My normal includes a lot of stuff that I hate.