What's In My Toolkit?

A few days ago, my friend Mary wrote a post about the "toolkit" she uses for controlling her weight, now that she's had bariatric surgery. I commented on how the toolkit needed depends on the person and the issue and wondered what was in her toolkit. So she wrote a post answering that question and asked what is in other people's toolkits. I'm finally answering that question.

I have two basic issues I'm working on: my mental health and my physical health. The toolkits overlap, but the issues each have their own specific needs as well.

Something that is crucial to both my mental and physical health is self-awareness. Without it, I wouldn't be aware of what my triggers are (I am learning), when and how I need to apply the other tools, and how I am doing in general. Without self-awareness, I wouldn't be able to even successfully carry out my various exercises and changes.

I also need the strong desire to be healthy. Without it, I wouldn't have the will or the interest in doing the hard work needed to become healthy, mentally or physically.

My Mental Health Toolkit

• Medications: I need meds to be functional at all right now, and I'm on pretty high doses because of how non-functional I was without them. My goal is to end up taking the lowest therapeutic dosages for at least one and to drop the other two.
• Therapy: I see my therapist once a week and she's good. She works with cognitive-behavioral therapy, which I guess a lot of therapists don't do. This is the therapy I need most right now, although she has some other kinds in her bag of help as well that we may use later. But my thinking is so broken that cognitive therapy is what is called for.
• Some specific self-help books: I have books on cognitive-behavioral therapy, shame therapy, and self-compassion. All of them are basically cognitive — working on broken thinking — so they work together from different angles. I get very thrilled when I do something suggested in one of these books and it works.
• Exercises from these books: The exercises are terrific and they push me into exploring my issues more and putting into practice what I'm learning in the books. I share my exercises with my therapist and am always pleased when she says I got something just right, or how pleased she is with my work. I need exercises; I need the tangible work to pound that understanding and the practice into my head.
• Hope: I have to believe that "well" is possible and that I can get there. I have to have hope that what I'm doing will help me become well, or as close to it as I can possibly get.

My Toolkit for Physical Health

• Baby steps: Doing everything in small steps so I don't overdo and then fall on my face thereafter. If I overdo the exercise, it won't become a habit, it will become something I avoid and I won't get any pleasure out of it. If I don't allow myself to occasionally have a treat of some kind, I will feel deprived and I won't be able to stay on eating well.
• Ability to eat the same thing over and over again: What? you may be saying. What does this have to do with anything? Well, I don't cook. I know I need to learn. But as I'm taking my baby steps, I need to be able to eat healthy food that's easy to prepare. Thus, being able to eat the same thing for breakfast every day, the same thing for lunch every day, the same thing for dinner every day, is necessary. At least that way I can eat healthy.
• A love for fresh berries, granola, oatmeal, dried fruit, nuts: These are foods I can eat daily, even more than once a day if I want. They are healthy,  they make great breakfasts and snacks, and they don't require much preparation, a big plus for me. Of course, the best fresh berries are only in the summer, so I'm glad I like dried fruit, too.
• Knowing that I've done better before: I used to cook, quite easily. I used to make healthy foods and I didn't binge on sweets. I know that I can live that way again because I have in the past. It's the mental health that took away my healthy habits, so it's developing better mental health that will help me re-develop those habits again.
• Exercise: This is basic, but difficult for me. I used to walk a lot, but I haven't been doing any exercise for a couple of years. I finally started doing some basic exercises around the house on a schedule developed for me by a friend. I increase my exercises very slowly — baby steps! — and it doesn't feel onerous.

As you can see, there is definitely overlap between the two toolkits. I have to maintain self-awareness in several areas. Then, there are the less obvious overlaps: how I eat probably affects my mood and my meds probably affect my body. Exercise can affect my mood. A strong desire for a whole healthiness can keep me working on both sets of issues, even when it's difficult or uncomfortable.

I admit, I find it easier to do the mental health work than the physical health work. I've always been more intellectual than physical. So in addition to the tools I have, I need to acquire one more tool: a stronger will to do the work even when I don't feel like it, to leave the sugary treats alone, and to take the time to do the work, such as the therapy exercises or making something to eat rather than just nibbling on stuff. I've grown very self-indulgent and have to remind myself that if I indulged a child the way I indulge myself, I would consider it at the very least child neglect. I guess I need to be a good parent to myself and kick my butt when I'm not doing what I need to do.

So there you have my toolkits. Do you have any toolkits to help you as you go along in your life? What is in them? I'd love to know!