Wanted: Help.
Help with bringing order to my apartment. Help with finding work. Help with paying bills. Help with not getting so consumed with anxiety over these things that I simply pop.
I have a couple of small projects coming up, but not with anyone who can afford to pay me full price. Yes, I do have a sliding fee scale. Extremely small businesses and individuals get a break, because they have very little spare cash. And that's who I seem to be working for right now. When I work.
The money I had left from before, plus the money my mom gave me, plus some of the other is shrinking much too quickly. It was a lot of money, but between me and the estate, it's going, going.
Health insurance is just about prohibitively expensive for me. If you take even one medicine routinely, you can't get individual health insurance; you have to buy it from the High Risk Pool. Which is far more expensive in Houston that it was in Oregon. And I have a much higher deductible. I'm thinking of doubling the deductible so I can lower the monthly cost. The cost went up significantly when I turned 50. Lucky me.
My rent is not cheap, but it certainly is not the most expensive around here. If I want to go significantly cheaper, I'd have to move into a unit that is too small for my stuff, or even for an actual dining table, or I'd have to move to places that I don't really want to live. And rent is going up at the end of my lease in a couple of months.
I have credit card debt, because I've been unemployed for a long time, except for bit and pieces, and I've had expenses.
If Mom's house doesn't sell soon, or if I don't get some real income soon, or if I don't win the lottery soon, I'm going to be hurting big time.
I am one scared kitty right now.
Thank the bills and thank the services, then start re-focusing on the jobs you do have. Theory being, like attracts like, and more jobs will show up. Ta da! You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteJulie
I like Julie's advice. I love organizing... if I lived in Houston I'd come Bring Order to Your Apartment. But alas I'm in Montreal, Canada.
ReplyDeleteMaybe at least make sure you have one little corner of your apartment, where you do your work, that's clean, bright, cheerful, and pleasant. In support of the "refocus on the jobs you have" aspect. When I was doing my MA and overwhelmed by the apartment, I would keep my desk area clean and organized, and maybe the kitchen, while I let the rest of the insanity build. (And now that I'm unemployed I'm dealing with The Insanity.)
[By the way, yes commenting in Firefox works, at least on mac.]
Julie, thanks so much! I will do that. I have been forgetting gratitude.
ReplyDeleteLondon Mabel, yes, it's too bad you are not here: :( I do need to create an area of sanity. Actually, my bed is serene. That's why I make sure I make it up most days. But I do need a couple of "work" areas to be tidy.
And weird, I try commenting in Firefox on my Mac and it won't work, even on my own blog. I'm on Chrome right now.
I second Julie and London Mabel. They are wise women. Positive thoughts really do help. FGBVs do too, so I am sending you a million bucks worth of those.
ReplyDeleteI might recall telling you I'd check in on you from time to time : ]
ReplyDeleteI hate it when kitty's get scared. A very wise woman once told me that fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. She also taught me how to get rid of something. Write it on a piece of paper. Keep it in your pocket a awhile. When you're to say bye-bye to it, take it out and burn it. I've only done it the one time but it worked instantly. Good Luck <3 Braless
I remain hailing to the power of radar. This big bad universe in all of it's glory is a strange and wonderous thing. Stay brave Sunshine.
ReplyDeleteBraless
@Bonafide: Thank you!
ReplyDelete@Braless: You are always welcome, whether you come often or seldom. Thank you for the paper "spell". I like it; I'll give it a try.
I usd the anonymous profile selection because I don't have a website so I don't have a url but I didn't think to try to post w/o one and w/ just my Betty name, so here goes a try. I don't like using or being anonymous, I'm your Betty friend and want to show up that way.
ReplyDeleteYay, the non-geek figured it out! Ta Da!
ReplyDeleteTa da! Awesome, Braless Betty! When I first tried posting comments, I ran into the same dilemna, and I'm totally a geek. It's just not always obvious.
ReplyDeleteNo blog? I now have THREE. Altho' I took the first post down from my professional blog because a few comments made me see it really wasn't the right way to present myself. The post I am writing now will be.
I'm glad you've come by. I hope I'll actually have a new post up here soon!