I can't think of anything good or positive to say right now, so I'm probably not talking to you much. There is only so much self-pity someone else can stand.
Right now, I am miserable, my life is miserable and overly challenging and I'm making no progress. I have tried and I am trying as hard as I can. Will I keep trying? For now, that is unknown.
So if I'm not writing (and I gave up Nano ... again ... commitment issues?), it's because I have nothing to say that isn't about misery and grief and the Abyss. And there is really no point in writing about all of that.
I am positively speechless.
Oh, and yesterday was Mom's birthday.
Hi Skye, I hope things get better soon. I can relate. I wanted to let you know that you are an amazing person! You had a big effect on my kids. Aidan has a bath toy that he got around the same time you came by once ( he was around 2 I think) and he named her Skye and its his favorite bath toy to this day. Taryn remembers visiting your mom's house - your mom gave her a baby doll. Taryn calls her Skye's doll.
ReplyDeleteThe Abyss is a really crappy place to be. The view sucks, the amenities don't even exist and the service? It is to laugh. In that bleak, humorless kind of laugh. I'm sorry, I can hear you saying "not helping, Karen!" I do hate that you are feeling like that and wish I could do something to help. Sending hugs.
ReplyDelete(((Hugs))) You will let us know if there's anything we can do, won't you?
ReplyDeleteI don't think you have commitment issues. I think you've been nothing by committed in resolving all the issues surrounding your mom's death, and the house. It was really hard, but you solved all of that, without a lot of help as I recall.
ReplyDeleteEven if it doesn't feel like you're making progress, you've been striving to live every day the best you can. I think you're incredibly strong because you haven't given up. I absolutely want things to be easier for you, but don't sell yourself short.
Fuck NaNoWriMo. It's no way to measure your success. You write all the time, dammit, who cares if it's a stupid novel written in one month. Don't compare yourself to others. You're fucking amazing on your own. So much so, I needed two f-bombs to prove it.
Your mom's birthday is the same as my parent's anniversary? Wow, interesting. Also, in Distract Skey with Useless Crap News:
ReplyDeleteI just saw your favorite Zen Habits guy's blog reviewed/mentioned someplace... which has now totally fallen out of my head...
Fine. Okey dokey then.
We love you. (Read those above comments about five more times.)
Julie
What Megan said.
ReplyDeleteNano's only worth doing as long as you're having fun, or it's serving some purpose. The last thing you want is to turn it into a negative by feeling bad about it! :-D
Hey Skye - it's a week after your post so I'm checking in. Post something, respond with something, even if it's "I'm here, now go leave me alone." I gonna start acting like that annoying mosquito that you can hear whining around your head but can't manage to see to swat if you don't!
ReplyDeleteFGBVs babe. Do the things you can do and don't worry about the rest. Let them go. Other days will come.
I'm better now. Thanks for your concern, KarenB! There will be more info forthcoming soon. Just know that I am doing very much better!
ReplyDelete