Over on Lucy's blog, Witchy Betty reminded me to take care of myself, too. if my fibro acts up, or if I get sick, I won't be much good for taking care of Mom.
That's pretty obvious today: I'm almost as exhausted as Mom. In fact, I'm going to bed at least an hour earlier than she is.
In addition, I haven't kept up with a project. I have the last article to write, and today I was informed they want the article by Thursday, two days from now. I was going to work on it last week, and should have at least started it way back when, but I was waiting for the answers to some questions. The only question the client didn't answer last week was the date of my deadline.
So I am doing something good for me tomorrow: I'm allowing one of Mom's friends take her to her radiation appointment. Not only do I avoid the one-hour (each way) drive, I will have at least an extra three hours to work on the article. Woo hoo!
And now, it is 9:00 p.m. and I'm so tired I am in pain. I've taken a couple of pills and am now moseying off to bed.
I'm taking care of Mom. I think doing so is teaching me how to take care of myself.
Taking care of yourself is so important, not the least because then you'll be able to function to take care of your mom.
ReplyDeleteSadly, taking care of ourselves is also one of the hardest lessons for caretaker personalities to learn. I'm one of those, and want to take care of/feed/fix the problems of the world. Sadly, this sometimes results in me collapsing. It's all about the balance, baby. :)
Yeah, I keep forgetting that I need rest, my own space, my own time. I kept reminding my mom of those things when my grandma was dying. I guess I'm doing the whole "do as I say, not as I do" thing. :)
ReplyDeleteWe should start a support group for women who do this. I'm terrible at taking my own advice, even when it's brilliant.
ReplyDeleteOh, wait...we have one already. It's the Betties. ;)
Seriously, though, major hugs to you. This is not an easy thing to do, and your strength is amazing. If you need anything, just let us know.
Hugs Skye. It's hard to put your own needs first when your mom's are immediate and short term. But you do want to be able to look back at this time with as little regret as possible. If you don't take care of yourself, that's not going to be as likely. I have fibro, MS and a mother who needs a lot of care. There are days when I just go upstairs to my apartment and let my dad take care of everything. I'm lucky I have him to share it all with. I'm lucky that I can enjoy our time together. As an aside, everyone I know with fibro is getting their ass kicked this week.
ReplyDeleteTruly, take care, Skye
I wish I has read Lucy's blog earlier. In your update at lucy's you mentioned going with your mom to the chemo doctor. I hope they mentioned the meds they can give her to help prevent reactions to the chemo. A coworker has had chemo 3 times for 3 different cancers and mentioned that there is a policy to not offer these meds unless requested by the patient-at MD Anderson of all places! Don't know if the policy will be the same where ya'll are but be sure to check it out. It will be much easier on you both if you don't have to deal with the nausea/vomiting/loss of appetite etc. FGBVs to you both.
ReplyDeleteSkye - you are amazing. Please take care of yourself during this ordeal. I know you haven't lost your sense of humor. Your "BOB" scale is hilarious. Of course, it did make me think of my in-laws, one of whom now howls like a dog whenever he sees me (re: kid hearing me in the throes and ratting me out and some stupid old movie with Kim Cattrall). Everybody (including my husband!) thinks it's kind of funny, but I'd like to kick this asshole in the nuts so hard he gets a lump in his throat. It would probably be wrong to ask for FGBVs so his pants fall down in public or he gets an itchy rash, right? Power should be used for good, etc. . Anyway, just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you everyday and in awe of your courage and humor. Hang in there. Love to your mom.
ReplyDeleteSkye - we're in the midst of upheaval, so I haven't been reading the blogs much, but I keep checking in on you and your mom. Just wanted you to know that you're in our thoughts and prayers. Everyday I send FGBVs your way. I'm sorry it's so hard for you. I can't even imagine, but it seems so unfair for one person to carry so many burdens. I've seen something of your courage here, though, and I know you'll make it through, even if you can't see it right now. Try to take as much "me" time as you can so you can recharge from time to time and try to remember (because Karma balances things out) that the future has so many good things waiting for you. Marly and Ryan
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