Lately in therapy, my therapist has been guiding me through imagery scenarios to address specific emotional situations. They've been enormously helpful. She also helped me address the difficulty I've been having with using affirmations and creative visualization on my own.
The guided imagery we've been doing in sessions has taken me to where in my life it seems the feelings originated. Once there, she has led me through asking myself questions, connecting to feelings, connecting to myself at those ages, and providing myself with what I seem to need at that point. These sessions are very powerful emotionally and mentally — I usually need a long nap afterward! It's so different from the therapy that I did with Karen, and equally powerful.
The difficulties I've been having with affirmations and creative visualizations stem from the standard instructions for doing them: to say things like "I have a great job" when I know I am unemployed, for example. My rational mind cannot buy into the part where you feel like you have this thing NOW.
Michele offered me an excellent way to do this. "Imagine your life on a timeline," she told me. "Put yourself on the timeline in a past time when you felt confident and happy in your job and really be there, not just seeing yourself there. Add in as much sensory detail as you can. Then put yourself on the timeline in the near future, where you want to be, and imagine having the job, the living situation that you want. Be there completely. Feel everything." This sounded like something I could definitely work with.
Three times this past week I've done this visualization, with varying levels of success. I know that the varying levels are due to how distracted I am and that I need more practice, so I'm not letting them bother me. I feel each time has been successful. The scenarios I've started with are having a great job that I love and that pays me lots of money, and having a place to live that I like very much and making it be the home I want (including the living room furniture I found that I WANT!). It amazes me how real I can make these visualizations. I know I need to do the work, too (keep job hunting and networking, for example), but I feel that the visualizations add a great deal of power and energy toward getting me what I want and need, sooner rather than later.
I know the mind is very powerful. There are been many studies about the benefits of visualizing success in sports; professional athletes use this technique to increase their abilities along with doing physical practice. I think I remember reading about how many successful business people also use these techniques. So there is some strong science behind them. And doing them in a way that doesn't cause my literal mind to pop up and say "no" allows me to benefit from the techniques.
Obviously, you need to really, really want the thing you are visualizing yourself having. The strong emotional content is essential. I really, really, really want a good job that I love and a home that I enjoy living in. Really.
How about you? Do you use mental techniques to help you achieve things? What do you use?
I apparently was born with a sunny disposition, but I do work at it as an adult. Many many years ago I read the Amazing Results of Positive Thinking, and it kinda stuck with me. Someone (maybe on ReFab???) said they were trying to seed their mind (my words not theirs) with something to look forward to when they wake up. I find if I can have a laugh with someone, my day goes much, much better. I think the key to visualizing is that you're fixed on a goal, and you work toward that goal. Sounds to me like you're working toward your goal. Step by step. (And remember, you've got a lot on your plate.)
ReplyDeleteSusanne
Yeah, so much on my plate it's in danger of oozing over!
DeleteI'm working on a positive way to wake up suggested by my friend Julie (Welcome to JulieLand over in the blog list). I don't always remember to do it, but I try. Is it helping? Maybe yes, but last couple of days, not so much. Progress is not linear, sigh.
THAT's where I must have read it. Julie's post. Thanks. It's been bugging me all day :)
DeleteYup. Progress is never linear. Back step, side step, baby step forward!
Susanne
Yes, affirmation works for me. I was chair of a search committee to find a journal editor, and each night before sleep I'd think "(group) will find a talented new journal editor --" Our new editor has transformed our journal into a must-read. Now I'm heading a group charged with setting up events for a centennial event in two years. Each night I think (group) will celebrate with panache --" And, yay, I know we will.
ReplyDeleteMy one suggestion to you is separate the goals of job and home. They're separate goals worthy of separate affirmations. Keep it simple and focused and specific. -- now off you go --
Good idea, to separate the job and home visualizations. They are intertwined, but not the same thing, so it may be more effective to have them separate. Thanks!
DeleteI like her description--will try it out!
ReplyDeleteI try to go off something Martha Beck wrote--of imagining that this difficult situation has already been resolved in the best possible way; imagining what feelings I would have if already IN that good situation. And then try to live in that emotion as though the good income has already happened.
So, like, I'd be at work and fucking Adele would be playing on the radio and The Depressions would hit me; and I'd think: How would I feel right now if Fernando and I were back together? Well I'd feel calm and... normal. Balanced.
I'd do a one minute meditation there at the till, and become mindful (sound of the cash register, feel of the shirt I'm putting away), and that usually helped turn my brain away from the Dark Path. And my day would go on. Calmer and more balanced.
Didn't always work, but often enough to keep me sane!
I keep remembering what my grandmother said to my dad: "If I'd known you kids would turn out so good I wouldn't have spent all those years worrying!"
I have a very rational/skeptical mind like you too, so I knew that the outcome might NOT be that Fernando and I would end up together. But I knew that there would still be some sort of settling of my life, a new path, something good. Either way, things would get better... so try not to ruin the present with worrying. Well, I TRIED anyway.
Anyway, love your posts about your therapy. :-) We're two skeptics on the road to trying to change our brains. Our very busy busy brains.
Hmm, I like that "how would I feel if X right now". it doesn't play on the assumption that you do have X right now, just how would you feel. I like it. Another useful tool.
DeleteOh yeah, the worrying, busy mind. If I'm not doing something all-consuming with it, it drives me nuts by playing song lyrics over and over and OVER!
What a great therapist! So glad you found a winner!
ReplyDeleteI have used visualization and affirmations for years, sometimes with amazing results, sometimes not. Definitely a good tool to have.
Yes, I definitely won the Therapist Lottery again! I am very grateful for that.
DeleteI used to do visualizations and affirmations a lot. But I lost the habit years ago and am trying to reinstate it, along with all the other healthy habits that trickled away (i.e., all of them).