Happiness Is

I just read on Reinventing Fabulous (a wonderful blog by three wondeful women) about a new thing they are starting for all of us to participate in: Three Things Sunday. On Sundays, we post three things that made us feel happy that week. Not grateful, mind you — that's different. This is for Happy.

Do you remember those "Happiness Is" comics from the 70s (and 80s?) with the basically nude male and female comic figures. They'd be captioned things like "Happiness is a love note from your loved one." And Charles Shultz gave us "Happiness is a warm puppy," with Charlie Brown hugging Snoopy.

There are warehouses full of books telling us what happiness is, how to find happiness, how to keep happiness. I'd be happy if I could write one that was a best-seller and made me financially secure.

I have two books by a favorite writer, Sylvia Boorstein. One is It's Easier Than You Think: The Buddhist Guide to Happiness", which I've read numerous times (it's short). The other, which I'm slowly rereading on my Nook, is Happiness is an Inside Job. Both of these books are fantastic guides to pursuing, finding, and nurturing happiness in ourselves and our lives. 

So what is this happiness thing? Sometimes I think it's a lack of sadness. Sometimes I think it's a lack of fear. In general, I think of it in terms of what it isn't, rather than what it is.

What is isn't — Happiness is not

• always being cheerful
• never being sad
• having everything go your way
• being rich
• material things
• pleasure
• what someone else tells you it should be (including me)
• based on another person (I'm only happy with him/her; only he/she can make me happy)

So what is it? I've found happiness is something that hits deep inside of me. One of the moments of joy I remember from over fifteen years ago was when I was working very long hours and long weeks at a software startup company in downtown Seattle. I'd gone into the mall for dinner and was walking back up the hill westward toward work and I saw the setting sun "sitting" right on top of the rise of the hill. I stayed even with it as I walked and it was one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. I was sharing it with no one and knew I couldn't ever describe it to another person so they would be able to feel the same feeling I had toward of this one-of-a-kind experience. I knew it would never happen again, certainly not in the same circumstances. Even now I can recall it and feel some of that happiness inside.

The three things I listed today on the ReFab blog were these: 

1. At Saturday's robotics event, an all-girl team placed second out of over 70 teams … the first time an all-girl team has placed in the top 10! They get to go to the Bot Off (playoffs) in April! [I was so happy to see girls doing as well as the boys, and better than many, at a science, math, and engineering competition.]
2. I received Tawna Fenske’s Believe it or Not in the mail and am reading and enjoying it. [After loving her first book so much, I was greatly pleased to receiving her second, which I'd been looking forward to.]
3. At Saturday's event, I got to spend bits of time throughout the day with people I like a lot and received lots of hugs and shoulder squeezes and even admiration. I’m a very tactile, affectionate person and the fact that I have to go without almost all the time has become bearable but still not what I want. Yesterday was like having my cup filled up! [I felt happy because I felt all kinds of love and affection coming to me, and not because I was doing anything special but just because they care and I was there!]

What is comes down to then, for me, is that Happiness Just Is. Feeling it may cause you to do good things for yourself or others. Searching for it may cause you to learn important things about yourself. Not having or feeling it may cause you to feel depressed and anxious. But happiness all by itself it just what it is and it doesn't make you do things or think things or feel anything but itself. 

So think of three things — big or small — that have made you happy this week. Then enjoy them, guilt-free. They are the gift freebies of Life.

And remember: Happiness Is.