How do you feel about your eyes?

Are you in the class of "never touch them," or perhaps in the "I'll try anything" group? I'm somewhat in the middle and my eyes are my most-valued sense. For the last month, I have been struggling with an eye problem. To me, that is one of the most frightening things possible in my life.

It started suddenly a month and a half ago. In the morning, I noticed nothing about my eyes. At the end of the day, I couldn't focus on a form I had to fill out, even with my reading glasses. It took me three times as long to make out the words. As I drove home, I noticed that the freeway signs looked funny.

Using the tried-and-true method of diagnosis that involves holding a hand over one eye and looking at a thing, then repeating the process with the other eye, I discovered that my left eye was seeing a double image: the main image, and then directly over it a transparent copy. The next day I found an ophthalmologist. She found my eyes in excellent shape with the exception of a small deformity in the left eye's cornea. We treated my eyes for a total of four weeks. No change. Then I got to meet the Big Guy, whose name is on the clinic. He said not to worry. But I have to go back in January for a test. I am now on prescription eye drops for my extreme eye dryness (and why has no one else put me on anything like this before?). And there has so far been only one potential solution discussed: sanding off the upper layer of my cornea so it can grow back without the little wrinkle.

Now, I had Lasik surgery. No qualms. Want to draw on my eye with purple pen? Sure! Slice off the top of the cornea and make laser cuts in my eye? No problem! Sand off the top of my cornea? No Fucking Way! I guess I have found my "scary place," but I will have to surrender if that is the Final Solution. Because I cannot even drive effectively in the dark. (Oh damn, I'm picking my mom up after dark next week .... Oh well. I can drive. I just cannot read street signs and I get kind of dizzy. I'm sure Mom will be fine as a passenger ....)

I'm not supposed to worry, according to the doctor. I've been told by friends, honestly and without malice, that I am prone to excess self-pity and over-dramatization, both of which made me feel bad but both of which are correct. So I am endeavoring to not worry.

Maybe it's the complete vulnerability of living alone that makes this so frightening to me. And maybe it's an acute sense of dramatic.

How do you feel about your eyes? Right now, I'm feeling pretty let down by mine.