I always swore I wouldn't compromise myself for my job — my hair, my nails, my clothes (other than having to wear the level of professionalism required). But I've never been in a position where it was so hard to find work. It's harder to stand against such compromises when you are staring down the face of unemployment or continued severe underemployment.
No, they (my supervisors) didn't threaten to let me go. They just said, "we're giving you ownership of this job and you can't have the fun colors in your hair because the client is an oil and gas company and they are very conservative." Straightforward and to the point. And a bummer because I just got this particular streak put in my hair.
At least they didn't comment on my green nail polish. I'm keeping the fun nail polish because it helps me keep from biting my fingernails. It's possible they did in an off-hand way. They told me to think about our company's owner. "What would she wear to a client meeting? Other than not having the fabulous wardobe she has, what can you wear that she would wear?" I hope they don't mean the fingernails, because I'm doing something different with them this weekend. At least it will be in pastels: little pastel birds all over my nails. Not as bright and attention-getting as lime green, but certainly not "normal." (Anything but that!)
But my hair will be simply red with highlights. At least there will be a bright bleached streak where the blue currently is. And probably some pale remnants of the darker blue strips, as you can see here just after I had it colored. Oh well, I can only do what I can do.
And what I can do is wear blue and green and magenta in my clothing, if not my hair. And now I have a new goal and new motivation for it: be able to look the way I want to look when I work, whether it's clothing or hair or nails or all three. I guess that means I'd better get my butt in gear for that whole writing-and-freelancing career. Who expects a freelance writer to look normal anyway? No one I'm going to work for!
So, feeling blue because I cannot be blue ... right now. But someday I will get that blue streak back, when I am writing a rainbow streak of stories and articles and blog posts and whatever I and other people want me to write. In my own time. At my own speed. On my own terms.
Who knew that a wild streak of hair could be so motivating?
I like the blue streak. Pffft on those who don't. But I can understand the need to earn some money so those pesky things like rent and food and gas for the car can happen. It's a constant balancing act between doing what you want to do and doing what you have to do. Happiness and contentment happen when the two coincide. Here's to having them coincide all the time!
ReplyDeleteAnd that is the kind of "co-incidence" that I like. Or "co-occurrence" if you prefer. Here's to balance!
DeleteSometimes it just goes that way when it's conform or don't get fed. I'm gearing up for some fancy color in my hair, but I never would have been able to do it while I worked in a court. (Oh, and if the blue streaks become a problem, as in they won't come out and the customer is irked, a hot oil treatment ought to do the trick.)
ReplyDeleteUse whatever motivation you can, you'll get there. Also, now I want little pastel birdie fingernails.
I'm sure the color will come out tomorrow with the "color oops" I picked up. It did an awesome job a couple of years ago when my hair got too dark and saturated a red for my tastes.
DeleteThe pastel birdies come on these sheets of a kind of finger polish that you just kind of lay onto your nails. Never done it before. Maybe I'll do it after the meeting, just in case. It also comes in plaid and dot and tiger stripe and other stuff. The birdies looked best to me at the time. I'll wear them as a consolation for having to pretend to conform. Maybe I need little pastel birdies underwear too. (No, I don't know if anyone makes some.) :)
Every time someone calls me "Mrs. D" I think I'm acting. Then I internally compliment myself for being such an outstanding actress that those boys would consider me just a normal mother! It gets the job done, and I get to feel subversive. You can dress the part for the oil company and get to win!
ReplyDeleteAwesome for you!
DeleteYeah, I have to remind myself that I am subversive simply by breathing on some days. :) I remember introducing the phrase "subvert the dominant paradigm" to a group of teens in a writing group. That was fun.
Now I get to stress over what to wear on Monday. And on the fact that the meeting gets out right at 5, so I'll get another of those excessively long commutes home, too. Meep, ,meep, meep. Just me complaining over here about the details of the fact that I have work and I have a car that allows me to get between home and work, and that I have a decent place to live and a place to park my car. :)
Not trying to reply to anyone. Just can't find another comment option. (At work and computers are possessed right now. Or on drugs. Depends which team leader you talk to.)
DeleteI briefly knew a First Nations woman who considered her work dress and makeup like a shield. She actually had a little ritual in the mornings when she was putting them on. She worked in an herb shop and there was some envy and jealousy directed at her because she was very knowledgeable.
I'm not that organized but it seems like a good idea in some situations.
When I had meetings downtown that let out during rush hour, I'd find a coffee shop to hole up in with a laptop or a book to wait out rush hour. Far less hectic, and I figured $2 for coffee/tea was worth the gas money (starting and stopping a lot can eat it up) and stress.
DeleteGood luck! My search for a job is why I haven't dyed my hair purple again (well, that and the inability to find a non-animal tested purple dye)
Bethany: that's a great idea. I'm trying to get myself back into writing, so it would be a good way to decrease the stress and increase the writing. I've worked it out with my work folks on getting out of the office by 4pm daily (or earlier) to deal with the rush hour issue. And maybe I'll be coming in earlier and that will help and maybe spend a day during my 4-day week working at home. I'm trying to decrease my time on the road. I'd like to decrease how much time I have to work, but that requires money.
DeleteDoesn't work just get in the way of the fun parts of life?
Before I went in to what I knew or suspected would be a deposition dangerously full of Bad, I'd do a shielding ritual for protection. My shield was spun from fine gold metal, the kind from which the Bad bounces. Worked. I also wore my tiger underwear.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm happy you have a job though. Especially these days, esp in the US, it's no small matter. Worth a little hair color for now. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh, lovely pic of you too!
ReplyDelete